S1E35: The Shadow Stirs

This week on Moonhaven Falls

The Shadowfen tests Moonhaven's Defenses

Ignis Releases new riddles for the wit check

Selene and Audrick debate 'Invisibility' on the Magic Minute

Crossroads Chronicles discusses river farming with a new resident

and

Morwin Discusses the local happenings in the Dungeon Delver's Report.

Transcript

The Shadow Stirs

Weekly Wit Check (With Ignis, The Scaled Sophisticate)

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Good morning, Moonhaven Falls, this is Audrey Cashmere. Ladies and gentlemen, a restless night has now passed. It has been a week since Gary's ominous warning, and were it not for the increasing reports of glowing eyes peering toward town from the Shadowfen, we might be excused for thinking it was just paranoia. However, late yesterday evening, the first probe occurred at the Shadowfen Bridge. Alara Vancroft reports that the mist became so thick the guards could not see their own hands. And then came the shadow rats, swarms of them moving like spilled oil toward the bridge. Now, thanks to Gary's warning, the guard was armed with sun sticks and flare stones. The rats were rebuffed, but not before several guards reported seeing it. The fade. Apparently it stood right at the edge of the tree line, just watching. One of our veteran guardsmen, a man who once faced down a rogue manticor, had to be carried off the line because his legs simply gave out when he dared to challenge its gaze. Gary wasn't kidding, he reportedly said. It was like all the worst feelings in the world crashed down on me without warning. He was released after a short observation and is expected to make a full recovery, rejoining the ranks tomorrow morning. The bridge is secure for now, but Alara has declared a sunset to sunrise curfew for the Eastern District. Stay in the light, Moonhaven. It would appear that the darkness has decided to test our defenses. This is Audric Cashmere with the Crystal Network. This is Igneus, the scaled sophisticate. Timmy informed me this morning that the local blacksmith has begun crafting a two wheeled mountain climber based on last week's third hurdle. While I admire the initiative, I would suggest practicing on the flat cow pastures before attempting to ride it down from Bahamut's plateau. Gravity is a far more demanding teacher than even I. It is, however, quite gratifying to see you all engaging with the mechanics of the world around you. You are learning that every object has a story, every story has a structure, and every structure has multiple possible paths. Now, the answer to last week's riddles are as follows a fishing net, a forge bellows, a bicycle sand, a painting or art, if you prefer, chainmail or a hauberk, and a reputation or legacy. This week we will look at the things that hold us, the things that guide us, and the things we often take for granted until they're gone. So let's begin the first of seven riddles. I have feathers but cannot fly. I have a case, but am no lawyer. I have a heart of down and a body of cloth. I am the first thing you seek when the candles are blown out. What am I? The first of seven more keys to the kingdom of the mind. Timmy has been instructed to keep a tally of the most creative wrong answers again. Do try to make him laugh, it's quite good for his constitution, you know. Until next week, Moonhaven, keep your wits sharp, and your wheels steady.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Hello, Moonhaven Falls. The weave is thick with portons and nudges today, and I can almost taste the ozone drifting down from the serpent's tooth mountains. I am Celine Meadowlight, and this is the Magic Minute. The leading story today is the Echo Stones of the Shadow Fan, because this morning, while returning from the ruins of the Shadow Fan, a local adventuring party is bringing back a collection of what they are calling Echo Stones. They should be arriving at the gate with them shortly. These small porous rocks appear to record the last three seconds of sound they hear, and then repeat it. Backward, every hour on the hour. While the Academy will likely suggest that they were once used for ancient choral arrangements, in the here and now, they are most likely to be used by local pranksters to make the town guard think there are ghosts whispering in the barracks. Alara, if you're still listening, I do suggest earplugs after your shift tonight. In esoteric lore, a curious item has surfaced in the lost and found at the Crystal Network Station. It's a heavy pewter mug that keeps any liquid inside at exactly 32 degrees Fahrenheit. It's a marvel of minor cryomancy. However, you should be warned, the handle is not enchanted. If you leave it sitting too long, it will likely fuse to the table, and potentially your hand. Magic is rarely concerned with your comfort, after all. Only its own function. Now, let us address the laws of reality. Fifth magical revision. I'm thinking today we should cover the law of unseen strikes. This is perhaps the most misunderstood thread in the tapestry of combat.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Here we go. Is this about the invisible band incident again?

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Why, yes, Audric, it is. Now listen. If a creature is invisible, it gains advantage on its attack because its foes cannot see its movements. Conversely, those trying to hit the invisible creature have a disadvantage. This is the law.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Well, I mean that seems fair. If I can't see where the sword is coming from, I'm probably gonna get poked.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Well, yes, but here is the snag. Because even if I cast the invisibility, even if my eyes have been open to the ethereal plane and I can see the bandit as clearly as you, the law of the weave states that the bandit still has advantage on me, and I still have disadvantage on them.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

I'm sorry, run that past me again. You can see them.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

You just said you can see them clearly. Well, clearly is a bit of an exaggeration, actually. The invisible condition is a physical state of being, not just a visual one. The law dictates that the benefits of the condition remain as long as the condition itself persists, regardless of whether or not the observer has magically bypassed the visual component.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Celine, that's I say this with all the respect due to a primary contact for the town. That has got to be the most wizarding thing I have ever heard. I can see you perfectly, but the universe says I can't hit you as well because you are technically supposed to be hidden. It's a loophole! The universe should not glitch like that.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

The universe doesn't have glitches, Audric. It has complex interactions.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

It's a glitch. I'm calling it a glitch. It is a glitch. If I can see the nose on his face, I should be able to punch said nose without the disadvantage of the cosmos weighing down my arm.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Think of it more like using a second sight to look into the present and being about a half second behind. Plus, it's more like seeing a vague outline rather than seeing a person standing in front of you. If that doesn't work for you, then take it up with a DM, Audric. I merely report the visions. I don't weave the silk. The DM? I meant the gods, of course. Anyway, may your sight be keen, even when the law says it shouldn't matter. Good day, Moonhaven Falls.

Ad- No Melt Snowcones

Crossroads Chronicles - Triton Farmer

Dungeon Delvers Report

Thank You

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Celine, what did you mean when you said DMs? Why do I get a shiver down my spine every time I Celine? Celine! It's another beautiful seventy degree day here at the Moonhaven Town Square. The sun is shining, the fools are mistin', and if you're anything like me, your traditional ice cream is likely a sticky puddle on your shoes within five minutes. But wait, what's this? A revolution in refreshment? I am standing here with the local kids club at the No Melt Snow Cone Stand, using em uh proprietary packing techniques, involving the magical waters of our very own fountain, these young entrepreneurs have solved the summer's biggest problem. That's right, these snow cones are magically stabilised to stay crisp, crunchy, and freezing cold, as long as you stay within the bands of the town square. Traw the dragon fruit fire, the shadow fin lime, and our best seller, Gary's grip gravatis. It's the only snack that lets you take your time. Read a book, watch the sky for dragons flying past, or just soak in the mist. Your snow cone ain't going anywhere. And remember, every copper spent goes directly to the kids' club fund. Rumour has it they're saving up for a field trip. So, the no melt snow cone stand, located right by the fountain, get em where they're cold, which is technically forever. Welcome to you, my alderman and Manchu. A courteous nod to the Vessiers and Chancellors, a wry smile to the Teamsters, the Gleamen, and as ever, the citizens of all walks of life here in the Lost Realms. Welcome back to Crossroads Chronicles! I am Audric Cashmere. Now, when most of us look at the Moonhaven River, as it tumbles down from the plateau, we see a barrier, a fishing spot, perhaps even just a very loud neighbor. But for some, that churning water is the frontier of a new kind of agriculture. Joining me today is a man who has traded the deep trenches of the sea for the muddy banks of our very own river. Please welcome Moonhaven's first, and I believe currently only, Triton farmer, Thalric Deepcurrent. Thank you, Audric. Though Deepcurrent is more of a family name these days, my current reality is mostly knee deep silt. Well, I think many of our local land farmers can relate to that. Now, Thalric, your people are usually associated with coral citadels and a fighting krakens in the abyss. What brings a Triton to a riverbank just downstream from a mountain town? Well, the abyss is not for everyone, Audric. I was a fighter as a youngster, of course, but nowadays I would rather not have to bother if I can help it. And frankly, the soil here? It's magnificent! You land dwellers have been ignoring the richest silt in the valley just because it's a foot underwater. I mean, seriously, I found a stretch where the dragon's blood slows down into a natural eddy, perfectly still, beautifully nutrient-rich, just cold out to me. Now, you're practicing what you call amphibious cultivation. For those of us who struggle just to keep a window box alive, can you possibly explain to me how exactly that works? Well, it's a dual crop system, you see. On the shore, the dry side, I am growing silver leaf beets. They love the constant moisture. But the real magic is in the river itself. Now I have staked out a grid in the still water where I am farming glowstalk kelp and dragoncress. Now I've seen glowstock in the market. They have that that beautiful soft blue luminescence. Absolutely. They absorb the mineral runoff from the mountain, you know. I spend half my morning tending the terrestrial plants on the bank, and then the other half submerged, pruning the root balls by hand, uh such as they are. It's a bit of a balance, you see. The terrestrial plants give structure to the bank nearby. The aquatic plants give additional nutrients and potency, especially when I take the weeds from the water and put them up on land. Oddly, they make a wonderful compost for both sides of the field when properly mixed, you know. Now, life on the river isn't always peaceful. We've had a dry spell followed by some um let's call it unexpectedly deep runoff recently, even more so than when the dragon siblings were tossing the weather around last December. How does your farm handle the Moonhaven River when it goes on a tear? Ah, now that is where engineering comes in. Well, it's not enough to prevent total immersion. I have built a series of sluice gates made out of river stone and enchanted driftwood. When the water rises, within reason, obviously, I can divert the main force into a side channel. Now it's a bit of work, but it does keep the shore from washing away on me. And of course, having a sturdy home right at the edge of the water helps me keep twenty-four hour watch. I actually found an abandoned warehouse right on the water's edge. Would you believe that? It's just past the old mill, and I have reclaimed it and refurnished it. Oh, I know that one. Isn't that where the Phantom of the Falls stashed his loot? I heard it was drafty and half flooded during the spring thaw most years, though. Half flooded is exactly why I claimed it, Audric. I even came into town to file a proper homestead on it. For a Triton, a house with a basement that is permanently under four feet of river water isn't a fixer wrapper. That's a luxury suite. I have converted the upper floor to a drying room for the herbs, and the lower floor is where I sleep. Nothing like the sound of the river through the walls to help you drift off peacefully. It's the first time in my life I haven't had to worry about external attacks, you know. Nothing around here is likely to blast its way through two feet of stone wall without some serious warning first. Well, I suppose perspective is everything. But what about the locals? The Moonhaven River is a public waterway, after all. Do you get much trouble from folk wondering why there's a man with blue skin and a trident uh pitchfork standing in their favorite fishing hole? I have actually traded the trident for a specialized weeding rig. Mostly, anyways. And no, the name has been quite welcoming, actually. I've made a deal with the local anglers. They stay out of the crest beds. I use deep sight to tell them where the trout are congregating during low tide. It's all about the ecosystem, you know, Audric. We're all part of the same flow. Well, I can personally vouch for the dragoncress. It has a kick that'll wake up even the most tired of travelers. Better than coffee, even, and Timmy will vouch for how close that is to blasphemy coming out of my mouth. Now, Thalric, it has been a pleasure. If any of our listeners want to see the future of farming, they can find you just south of the falls. Oh yes, you're always welcome to pop by. Just follow the glow at twilight. If I'm not on the bank, I'm probably down checking the roots. Just knock on the warehouse door, it echoes very well in my little eddy. And we'll have to be sure to do that. That was Thalric Deep Current, bringing a bit of the ocean's wisdom up to our little mountain waters. I am Audric Kashmir, and you're listening to Crossroads Chronicles here on the Crystal Network. Good evening to you, ladies and gentlemen. This is Morwen Brightstein with the Dungeon Delvers Report. We are opening up this evening with an urgent administrative alert regarding the Shadow Fen located southeast of Moonhaven Falls. There is heavy speculation that the current level zero hazard rating, a holdover from when it was just a soggy bog, is about to be officially upgraded to a level 4 lethal sector. Now, as a reminder, that means only adventure and parties silver ranch or above are recommended, and that civilians are strongly discouraged from entering the borders for any reason whatsoever. Gary's warning of the fade, or Mistwalker, if you prefer, has the town guard on high alert, as does the early morning probe of Moonhaven's defences earlier today. Now, the entity's presence is confirmed to be amplifying the aggression of both the Shadowrates and the Rift Vipers, which are currently appearing to act as the creature's eyes and teeth, in the deeper muck. In addition, we have been getting scattered but unconfirmed reports of additional anomalies in the Fen. Beyond the known shadow beasts, several unconfirmed reports have reached my desk from traumatized trappers, the first of which is being called the Beast of Beckley. Witnesses describe a hulking, four-eyed hybrid of a cat and a bear that stocks the tree line with an eerie silence. While it has not been particularly aggressive, it also seems to hold no fear whatsoever of other creatures or beings. We also have reports that the local splinter cat has survived the flood and is feeling particularly rambunctious, so watch out for damn timber. For those of you who rarely venture fenward, you should be aware that this here massive, mastiff size feline enjoys encasing itself in lightning and headbutting trees to splinters. It also has no problems whatsoever defending itself. Most unsettling, however, is a new addition to the fen. It appears to be a carnivorous, deer-shaped predator that has been seen standing, and walking, on its hind legs like a man. It is said to be highly territorial and aggressive, and currently has the moniker of a not deer. Until these are confirmed, however, the guild has not yet issued any official bounties, so if you go out hunting, it's at your own risk. Alara Vancroft, however, is actively dissuading people from exiting the East Bridge at this time, as even the road around the Fen has been deemed hazardous. Up next, we have an update on the Sunken Bone Cavern in the south coast. The site remains uncleared. While the glowing expedition has cleared the primary crypt, the tunnels below are currently surging with subterranean water hazards. If you should adventure out that away, you should expect heavy concentrations of lesser ghouls and slippery footing, as well as a healthy contingent of drowned. There is, however, an opportunity to be had here, as the fellowship of the Gilded Pen is currently paying a premium for any fossilized Moro recovered from the deep up drifts for their own preparations for this year's opening of the Kronos Cape. Moving on to the northern peaks, the Watchtower Authority is still maintaining a firm no entry sign on the old amber mines. Its status is considered strictly prohibited. Seismic activity suggests that whatever being is romping through the local levels, still believed to be a purple worm, is carving additional routes through the mine and may in fact be deliberately attempting to collapse them. If the Nermish seals don't stop you, the five hundred gold piece fine for violating the entrance seal certainly should. Now, since we are talking about resurgences, let's talk about the resurgent threat in the ruins of Dranth. The caustic crawler, the acid spewing centipede, is back in the spotlight. Despite the previous bounty, the crawler remains active, and is every bit as bad tempered as ever. The crown has increased the reward to 800 gold coins, and the all captured bonus has been revoked. At this point, they just want him dead. Now, be warned, standard steel armor has been proving useless against its spray. I do recommend that you bring magical wards or reinforced dragon scale if you value your skin. Finally, we have a specialized update today for those of you who find the present a bit too let's call it linear. Pack a sundial and a sturdy rope because things are about to get a little weird. We are rapidly approaching that time of the year again. The stars are aligning, the ley lines are humming, and the shimmering of hassods of the glass towers of Kronos Keep are beginning to resolidify in our current reality. Now, in approximately seventy-two hours the towers will finish phasing back into our reality, and will be officially listed as uncleared, and will be, briefly, traversable to those who lack a doctorate in high chronomancy. Now this is the only window of opportunity where the time-locked vaults can be breached by standard physical means, offering access to relics that haven't been seen in several centuries, or possibly won't be made for several centuries yet to come. I do strongly recommend that you forget your standard compass if you attempt this particular dungeon. They do not work in non-Euclidean space. We recommend tethering yourself to a fixed point anchor at the entrance, and have a recall stone that has been anchored by one of the knights of the Verdant Hour to the same point. Yes, it is expensive. Yes, it is worth every coin. Now, as a reminder to you brave souls who are willing to risk your sanity on this one, the interior of the keep does not follow standard laws of physics. If you see yourself leaving the room that you just entered, do not make eye contact with your future self. The resulting paradox recoil is rarely covered by resurrection insurance. Reports from previous years do mention a new temporal stalker, beings that move only when you blink. So, if your shadow starts moving at a different speed than you are, it is time to exit. You have been warned. The Watchtower Authority reminds all delvers that while you may spend what feels like only a few hours inside, you may emerge to find that six to ten weeks have passed in the outside world. Please plan your rations and your tavern tabs accordingly, because the local taverns will not be extending interest free loans for that period of time. Well, that's it for this cycle. Watch your clocks, watch your corners, and if you meet a version of me from next Tuesday, reminds Mind him, he still owes me five gold from poker last week. This has been more one brightseen for the Crystal Network. Clear a path, watch your flank, draw not to get eaten, and keep an ear on your crystal, cause you're listening to the Crystal Network. Thank you for tuning in, my lords and ladies. This concludes our episode for the week. I do have a quick apology to make to those of you listening on YouTube. I'm not sure why episode 33 didn't upload, but I am working with YouTube to get that fixed at the moment. Now I do release a new episode every Tuesday morning at 5 a.m. Eastern, and I do hope you all found this podcast comical, witty, and lighthearted. If you did, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a quick moment to subscribe to the channel or follow the podcast, and a second one to rate it and share it with a friend or a community. It's a simple, easy action, it lets the algorithm know that you listen to and want to continue hearing these stories. As a reminder, we would be delighted to see your answer to Igneous' daily challenges. I do post them to Facebook and Patreon once per day. There should be a link to both pages in the description, and if you'd like to engage with a specific character, or just the channel in general, please pop in, say hello, tell me your favorite segment. Also, please keep in mind that I personally create, edit, record, and produce all the content for this show, with the occasional guest appearance from my wife and children. So, if you'd like to buy any of us a cup of coffee or a bottle of lemonade, once per month, as encouragement to continue creating it, we would gratefully accept. Thank you to all of our supporters. My family and I genuinely appreciate all of you showing your support by tuning in every week, and we'd like to thank you for continuing to do so. I look forward to seeing you all in the comments, and I hope you tune in again next week.